Donuts, Bagels, and a Whole Lot of Nonsense!
by FlIpsiMplicit
Summary: [continued(chp.t 7 A Day With Legato! if you read it in a 'Different' way it'll sound different than the way you read it before.)This takes place at the end of the series. Milly and Meryl lose their jobs so Vash works at Krispy Kreme! Uhh.. and Knives is
1. Donuts and Bagels with craziness

Disclaimer: i do not own Trigun!!   
  
This takes place at the end of the series. Milly and Meryl lose their jobs so Vash works at Krispy Kreme! Uhh.. and Knives is stuck with Milly and Meryl!  
  
TRIGUN: Donuts, Bagels, and a Whole Lot of Nonsense!  
  
It was 7 in the morning and everyone was asleep except Vash who was for some reason fully dressed in a green sweater and a pair of jeans. He tiptoed his way to Meryl's room and slowly opened the door. There he saw Meryl tucked in her bed sleeping. He walked up and hovered over Meryl's sleeping body.  
  
"Psst! Meryl!" Vash whispered tapping her nose softly.  
  
Meryl wrinkled her nose and rolled over to the side. "Five more minutes chief.."   
  
-Yeeeessshh.. She needs to get over that goddamn job..- Vash thought.  
  
After continuously tapping on her nose, Meryl finally awoke. She sat up on her bed and looked up to see Vash smiling down on her.  
  
"What the hell do you want.." she grumbled still half asleep.  
  
"Meryl, I got a job!!!" screamed Vash.  
  
"You woke.. Me up.. For this.." she said with a crooked voice while giving him a strange look.  
  
"But Meryl! You've been bugging me to get a job! Now that I have one, you.. don't care?" he cried.  
  
Meryl nodded silently. To this, Vash knew it was a sign that she didn't believe him. To prove it, he took out a note from his pocket and clearly read it out loud.  
  
_Dear Mr. Stryfe,  
  
As the new manager of Krispy Kreme, I would love to have you work for us! Only on one condition.. S-T-F-U and stop emailing us!! You may start working tomorrow at 9:00 am SHARP! When you come in, meet me in my office and I will decide your job position.   
  
Tifa Harrowings   
Aka new manager of K.K muahahha!!  
_  
Meryl who was now fully awake looked at Vash with wide eyes. "How.. Unprofessional .. Yet I still cant believe you got a job even without an interview!"  
  
"Yeah I know.. By the way Meryl what does S.T.F.U stand for?" Vash asked rubbing the back of his head.  
  
Meryl tried hard not to laugh because she obviously knew what it meant. She didn't want to hurt Vash's feelings so she made up a lie.  
  
"Umm.. It means .. Save The Food Up!! .. Uhh yeah.. You have to save the food so you don't waste right!?" she said nervously.  
  
"Yeah maybe I should say the same to other people!" chirped Vash.  
  
Meryl: O.O;  
  
Vash glanced at the clock. "Whoa look at the time! It's 8:45 and work starts today.. Bye Meryl!" he gave her a peck on the cheek and dashed off.  
  
Vash hopped into his jeep and looked up to see Meryl watching him from her window. He waved to her goodbye and started the jeep. As Meryl watched him leave, she giggled to see Vash realize that Krispy Kreme was only across the street.  
  
"What a goof ball.." she whispered.  
  
-----------------  
  
As Vash entered the building, it was empty. It seemed like he was the only one there until he heard a whistling sound coming from a room in the corner of the building. On the door it said "Manager's Office" Vash swallowed hard and slowly opened the door.  
  
"A-am I too early m-miss manager sir?" Vash squeaked.  
  
"Call me Tifa." the voice said.  
  
Vash sighed in relief. There he saw was a pale young woman with long black hair and dark black eyes. She was wearing a navy blue coat and a skirt to match. (A/N: Gah I never really liked describing people like that but hey, you gotta have visuals right?)  
  
Vash winked at the woman. "Didn't think my boss would be a babe!" he said with his flirty voice.  
  
Tifa gave him a death glare. "How dare you.. Coming in here and saying that to my face!!" she hissed pointing a gun at him.  
  
"W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Vash yelled.   
  
"I SHOULD BE ASKING YOU THE SAME THING!" she yelled back.  
  
"You said you'd give me a job here!!"  
  
Tifa lowered her gun. "Oh yeah! You're that Stryfe guy that sent me like a thousand emails asking for a job,, anyway thanks to you my computer slowed down!! Take a seat.."  
  
Vash did what he was told. He took a seat in front of her and waited.  
  
"So.. Stryfe.." she started.  
  
"It's Vash.."  
  
"Okay Vash.. So kid how old are you?"  
  
"WHAT? I'm not a kid! I look older than you!"  
  
"The way you acted today,,, you seem like a kid to me." Tifa stated.  
  
"Excuse me! Look whose talking,, yeessh.."  
  
"Pssshhh!!"  
  
"Anyway, I'm not as old as you think, I'm really a plant."  
  
"You don't look like a plant!" a voice different from Tifa's said.  
  
Both Tifa and Vash turned to see two transparent trees standing in front of them one darker than the other.  
  
"How dare you call yourself a plant! You don't have leaves like us!" the dark tree yelled.  
  
"Psst.. Maybe he's one of those wannabe green people.." the light tree whispered. Both nodded in agreement and disappeared mid air.   
  
"Hookkay.. That wasn't really necessary.." Tifa mumbled.  
  
"Yeah.." agreed Vash.  
  
"Anyway so you said you were a plant?"  
  
"Well it's kinda short but it's a really long story.." said Vash rubbing the back of his head.  
  
"Then why are you sharing this with me?"  
  
"I have no clue mam.."   
  
Tifa checked her watch, it was already 9:30. "Vash the place is going to open in five minutes so I'm just going to throw you some questions.."  
  
"Okay!" shouted Vash  
  
::::::::READ REALLY FAST!:::::::::::  
  
"Have you ever had a job?"  
  
"No mam!" (A/N: he may have had jobs like working for people and blah crap but pssh! This is my fic :P )  
  
"Why do you want to work here?"  
  
"So I can have the pleasure of eating donuts anytime!"  
  
"What color is my bra?"  
  
"Huh!?"  
  
"Just checking if you're still with me here.."  
  
"Uhh.. OKAY MAM!"  
  
"Are you a people person?"  
  
"Yes.. No.. I don't know mam.."  
  
"Can you stop calling me mam?"  
  
"Very sorry mam. Oops I mean Tifa."  
  
::::::::::::::::END:::::::::::::::::::  
  
"I've decide your job will be giving out free samples!" said Tifa ending the conversation.  
  
"After all that crap!?" yelled Vash.  
  
"Yes! Now get out of my office and start working!" Tifa shouted pointing to the door.   
  
Vash exited the office and went straight to the counter where a plate of donuts was waiting for him. He took five of them and shoved them all in his mouth.  
  
-This is heaven!!- he thought.  
  
Minutes later people started to come in. A little boy who was probably 6 walked up to Vash and gave him a big smile.  
  
"So kiddo.. You probably want a free sample right?" said Vash.  
  
The young boy nodded. "Sure thing mister!"  
  
"Well, here you go!" said Vash handing him a huge looking donut.  
  
The boy gave him a big smile and took a bite. After that, the big smile turned into a frown. "Sir! You gave me a bagel!"   
  
"Bagel Shmagel! What's the difference? They have the same shape don't they?" Vash yapped.  
  
"But they're made differently arent they?"  
  
Vash turned around and saw a familiar face, yet a little bit older.  
  
"Kaite! What brings you here!?" screamed Vash.  
  
"It's a summer job.." he replied.  
  
"So how long have you been working here?" asked Vash  
  
"Just now.."  
  
"WHAT!? so what's Tifa making you do?"  
  
"I'm the cashier.."  
  
"Since when did she trust you with the money!!?"  
  
"Dude.. she's my sister.."  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Bwuahahahha! The chapter ends here! I know I didnt put much on Knives and them gurlz but I'll focus on them in the next chapter! .. until then, R&R!


	2. Stupid Pillz

Disclaimer: pfft!

Ok so last chapter Vash got a job at Krispy Kreme and his boss who is actually Kaite's sister is somewhat crazy.. Also, Kaite now works with him!! That it right? Weell on with the fic!  
  
-kitty  
  
P.S have you noticed that it looks like only Kaite, Tifa, And Vash are the only ones working at K.K? Well there are actually workers, but then i didnt feel like talkin 'bout themz..

**---------------------------------**

**Chpt. 2: Stupid Pills**  
  
"I can't believe Tifa's your sister Kaite." said Vash wiping the counter.  
  
"I know it's weird but once you get used to someone crazy, in the end they don't seem crazy at all." Said Kaite.  
  
"I think.. I know what you mean.." said Vash picturing Meryl in his head.  
  
-----Meanwhile-------  
  
FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR AWAY FROM AUGUSTA! …….. Wait actually no.. just next door to Meryl's woops! 0.o;

"Buahahhahaha! I Dr. Atkins have created a pill that will make you follow the low carb lifestyle for two whole months!"  
  
"Th-so what are the th-side effects-ths?" asked a short curly haired guy who happened to be Richard Simmons.  
  
"Well Simmons.. The side effects for these skittle looking pills is that once you have swallowed one, it will randomly change you physically, mentally, or just both."  
  
"Oh dear! That is just bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad!!" cried Richard Simmons while doing the robot dance.  
  
"You're right for some reason.. Oh well let's just make a book about the 'low carb lifestyle..' it seems kind of healthy to me." said Dr. Atkins as he threw a small bottle containing the pills out of the window which landed right in front of Meryl's doorstep.   
  
----back to the Meryl and themz!-------  
  
"Milly! I'm just going to take the trash out!" shouted Meryl holding a bag of garbage.  
  
As Meryl opened the front door , she walked out but bumped right into Knives who gave her a strange look.  
  
"KN-KNIVES!? What are you doing outside?" Meryl asked quite shaken.  
  
Knives popped a skittle in his mouth. "None of your business human." he muttered as he walked to his room.  
  
Meryl sighed. -_Why do I even worry?_- she thought.  
  
As she walked out, Meryl noticed a small bottle filled with skittles. She quickly dropped the garbage in the bin and knelt down in front of the small bottle. She picked it up and examined it. On the bottle it had the Atkins logo.  
  
"Atkins skittles!? Hah what's next, Krispy Kreme Atkins!?" she thought out loud while popping a skittle in her mouth. Minutes later she passed out.  
  
Knives quietly approached Milly who was in the couch watching her favorite soap operas. He stood in front of her and held out a cup of pudding to her face.  
  
"Would you like some?" he asked smiling.  
  
"That's really nice of you Mr. Knives, sure I'll have some!" Milly chirped taking a spoonful.  
  
"You know, I have more pudding.. In my room.." Knives whispered.  
  
"Mr. Knives you sure seem nice today! Let's go to you room!" Milly shouted.  
  
Milly ran to Knive's room while he followed her grinning evilly.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
(A/N: Let's see how Vash is doing!)  
  
Vash frowned. "Kaite no one seems to want free samples anymore" he groaned.  
  
Kaite glared at him. "You idiot! That's because you keep giving them bagels!!"  
  
"What 'chu talkin about Kaite!"  
  
Suddenly an old man came in constantly cursing at himself.  
  
"What's wrong with him, did he get served or something?" Vash wondered.  
  
"By the looks of it I think he got PUNKD.. Really bad.." mumbled Kaite.  
  
Out of nowhere a guy wearing a pig mask and a trucker hat came running in holding a fake pistol with three camera men following him.  
  
"Alrighty! This is a robbery!!" they guy screamed.  
  
Kaite slapped his forehead. "Omg.. Are you kidding me.." he muttered.  
  
Vash had a confused look on his face. "Huh?"  
  
"Ashton Kutcher we know it's you!!" yelled Kaite.  
  
The guy took of his mask revealing that he really was Ashton Kutcher. "You guys just got PUNKD!"  
  
"Us!? PUNKD!? We already knew it was you dumbass!!" Kaite screamed as he developed vain in his forehead.  
  
Kutcher turned to his crew. " Hey you guys.. I think they know about my show.." They all nodded and ran out.  
  
"OMG!! WTF ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING HERE!? FIRST THERE WAS THAT ATKINS GUY, THEN RICHARD SIMMONS, NOW ASHTON KUTCHER!! WHERE ARE ALL THEY COMING FROM??" Vash screamed.  
  
"I think that explains it.." said Kaite pointing to a pink swirly portal that had been left unnoticed for many many days.  
  
"So that's why.. I've always wondered what that thing was for.." said Tifa from behind.  
  
Both Vash and Kaite jumped. "DON'T DO THAT!" they shouted.  
  
Vash clapped his hands. "Hey let's give that swirly thing a name!"  
  
"The Pinky Paloople?" Tifa suggested.  
  
Vash disagreed. "Nah,, something else.. How about The Pinky Thingy?"  
  
"No" Tifa muttered.  
  
Kaite raised his finger. "Let's call it Mark!" he suggested.   
  
The three of them nodded in agreement.  
  
------Meanwhile------  
  
Both Milly and Knives came out of the covers gasping for breath.  
  
Knives frowned. "That wasn't fun.. Remind me to never have a tea/pudding party under the covers again!" (A/N: What were you thinking!? You sick people!!)  
  
"You're right Mr. Knives. Would you like more tea?" Milly asked offering him another cup.  
  
"Sure.." he grinned.  
  
-Hmm.. Why is it that all of the sudden he turned nice? I just don't get it.. By now he would have threatened to kill me. - Milly thought.  
  
Milly sipped her tea. "You know Mr. Knives, Meryl has been gone for an awfully long time.."  
  
"Are you saying you want to look for her?"  
  
"Nah.."  
  
Suddenly the door flew open and there was Meryl. She stomped her way in and frowned.  
  
Knives held out a cup of tea. "Would you like some?" he offered.  
  
Milly screamed. "Dear God! Meryl you're short!!"  
  
Meryl gave her a confused look. "And?"  
  
Milly shook her head. "No Meryl you're shorter than short! You look like a ten year old!"  
  
Meryl looked at herself in the mirror. "Milly you're right! This explains why my clothes went loose on me.. And to think I lost a huge amount of weight."  
  
"Well, you lost height.." said Knives in a mater-of-factly tone.  
  
"How could this happen Meryl?" cried Milly sympathetically.  
  
Meryl stared at the wooden floor. "I don't know.. I was taking out the trash when I found a small bottle filled with skittles.. HOLY SHIT!"  
  
"What is it Meryl?" Milly wondered.  
  
Meryl looked at Knives. "Knives, didn't I see you eat a skittle today?"  
  
"I guess so.. Yeh.." said Knives rubbing his chin.  
  
"Then maybe that explains why he hasn't threatened or killed us yet!" said Meryl.  
  
"I still don't get it.." said Milly scratching her forehead.  
  
Meryl ran out of the room and came back holding a small bottle with an Atkins logo.  
  
"This is the cause for me and Knive's changes." said Meryl pointing to the bottle.  
  
Milly sipped her tea. "But how come you turned short, and Knives turned well.. _Nice_?  
  
Meryl read the back of the bottle. "It says here that it makes you follow the low carb lifestyle for two whole months. It also says that it changes you randomly physically, mentally, or both so that means.-  
  
"We'll be like this for two whole months.." said Knives finishing the sentence for her. "This must mean why I didn't have the urge to kill you two.."  
  
Both girls stared at him. "DUH!!"   
  
"MILLY I CANNOT STAY LIKE THIS FOR 2 MONTHS! I CANT SURVIVE!! WE HAVE TO FIND A REVERSE FOR THIS! AN ANTIDOTE, A SPELL, SOMETHING!!!!" Meryl screamed.  
  
"But either way you're still you right?" said Milly trying to calm the insane shorty.  
  
"In the form of a child!! I mean look at me! I lost my badunkadunks!"  
  
Knives just stared at them both.  
  
"Meryl I have an idea!" Milly shouted.  
  
"And what would that be?" Meryl asked skeptically.  
  
"How about we solve crimes and mysteries until we find the person who poisoned you with this pill! It's like we'll be DETECTIVES!"  
  
"Milly that idea is already taken.. Plus, I swallowed the pill myself." cried Meryl.  
  
"If you makes you feel better Meryl, I was only being sarcastic!"  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
yeh dis one was weird, i was going make turn Meryl into sumthn else, but i decided that was just too much! anyways yeh i jus hope i dun get lazy writing the next chapter.. Until then PLEASE REVIEW!  
  
--kitty


	3. Flutitootitabootycatooti

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun!! (If I did, Meryl and Vash would be together!!)  
  
Kitty: Hey everybody! Anyways yeh I dun really have anything to say .. Hrrms.. ON WITH THE FIC!!  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
**Trigun: Fluti-tooti-tabooty-catooti  
**  
"I really thought you had an idea Milly.." Meryl frowned.  
  
For a minute the three of them were silent until Knives spoke.  
  
"I'm hungry.." he sighed rubbing his stomach.  
  
"I know, let's visit Vash and see how he's doing! Maybe he'll hook us up yo!" Milly suggested.  
  
"Milly I cant go out there looking like this! .. Wait.. Milly did you just..-  
  
"Gurl you're right! With those clothes you look trashed!" Milly interrupted. She grabbed Meryl by the hand and ran out the door. "Knives you're coming with us! We have to find some clothes for Meryl." she added.  
  
"Milly that's not what I meant!" Meryl cried out loud, but Milly ignored her and ran to the nearest department store with Knives following from behind.  
  
----------Meanwhile----------  
  
It was 5:00 and Vash, Kaite, and Tifa sat in the same table thinking quietly to themselves.  
  
"So.." said Tifa trying to break the silence.  
  
Both Vash and Kaite turned to her. "Hmm?"  
  
"Weell.. It seems like you two know each other pretty well.."  
  
Vash and Kaite turned to one another giving each other the -_should we tell her_- look.  
  
Tifa gave them a suspicious look. "Well?"  
  
Finally Kaite spoke. "Uhh we met at a sand steamer a long time ago." he said hoping Tifa wouldn't ask "how".  
  
Tifa leaned back her chair. "So I guess we have a reunion here?" she said smiling.  
  
"Pretty much!" said Vash patting Kaite on the head.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Tifa turned to Kaite. "Dear brother will you tell the other workers they could leave now if they want to?"  
  
Kaite obeyed and left the table.  
  
"Vash you can leave now too since no one's coming in.."  
  
Vash took out a bag of free samples he had been hiding. " Nah, I'm just going to stay here for a while and eat on these delicious free samples!"  
  
"You're one weird guy.."  
  
Vash swallowed the donut in his mouth. "I know." he said giving her an innocent look.  
  
Tifa looked down at the table and cupped her hands. "Vash I'm really sorr- … Vash?" She clenched her fist and punched him in the face. "Sleeping on the job ehh!?"  
  
Vash snorted. "Relax boss we're on a break here!"  
  
"Woops!"  
  
Suddenly Kaite ran up to them. "You guys! Someone's coming out of Mark! …Whoa that came out wrong.."  
  
The three of them turned and watched as a figure came out.  
  
Vash's eyes widened. "OHMIGOD! OHMIGOD! OHMIGOD! OHMIGOD!!! It's you!!" he screamed as he ran to the figure and jumped on its back.  
  
"WOLFWOOD!!"  
  
Wolfwood shook his back. "Get off me needle noggin!!"   
  
Kaite and Tifa ran up to them and pulled Vash off.  
  
"Thanks" said Wolfwood as he lit a cigarette.  
  
"Sorry about that!" said Vash rubbing the back of his head.  
  
"So you're Wolfwood?" said Kaite leaning towards him.  
  
Wolfwood blew out a puff of smoke. "it's Nicholas D. Wolfwood."  
  
"What does the 'D' stand for?" Tifa wondered.  
  
Wolfwood grinned. "It stands for Dokonokuminomonjawaresumakinishiteshizumetarokakora."  
  
"That must have been hard to spell.." Tifa joked.  
  
"Other than the portal, how'd you uhh.. Stumble in?" Vash asked.  
  
"Well I remember sitting on this old looking well in the spirit world, but then my cigarette fell so I tried to grab it but lost balance and fell.. Soo here I am!" Wolfwood chuckled.  
  
"Well it's nice to see you again pal!" Vash cried wiping a tear from his face.  
  
Both Tifa and Kaite gave them weird looks but said nothing while Wolfwood blew a puff of smoke. "It's a long story,, so Vash who are these people?"  
  
"Oh I forgot 'bout them! Anyways I work here now so that's my boss Tifa, and that's my friend Kaite. They're related.." He said pointing to them.  
  
Suddenly Meryl came in wearing red overalls and a yellow sweater under with Milly and Knives behind her.  
  
"Please Meryl! Say it!!!" Milly begged.  
  
"I will not!"  
  
"Say it!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"NO WAY!!"  
  
"DON'T FCK WITH ME NOW SAY IT!!" Milly commanded.  
  
"Milly it's childish!!"  
  
"But you are a child! ..psst come on Knives help me out here!" she said giving him a nudge.  
  
Knives rolled his eyes. "Meryl please say it .."  
  
Meryl cleared her throat. "Fine! …. Damn this piece of shit! Blast you all!! … Happy now!?"  
  
Milly clapped her hands and nodded. She looked straight and gasped as her eyes widened. "N-Nick!!?" she trembled.  
  
Wolfwood smiled. "Umm.. Hey honey!"  
  
Milly ran up to him while Knives and Meryl followed from behind.  
  
Milly hugged him tightly. "H-How?" she cried as tears rolled down her eyes.  
  
Everyone except Knives, Milly, and Meryl pointed to the pink swirly portal known as "Mark"  
  
Vash looked down at Meryl. "Meryl I-is that you!?"  
  
Meryl faked out a smile. "It's me.."  
  
Vash gasped. "Whoa! You're like -  
  
"Shorter than short? I Know.." Meryl interrupted.  
  
"I was going to say you look smaller than a midget but then again, that's close too!"  
  
Meryl glared at him and kicked him in the shun.  
  
"OWW!!" he screamed.  
  
Everyone laughed including Knives while Vash froze to his presence. Meryl noticed this and gave him a nudge. "Relax, he's nice now.. Well.. Only for 2 months."  
  
Wolfwood spoke up. "So how did all this happen? I mean Meryl's a dwarf, and Knives is .. Nice?"  
  
Meryl held out a small bottle with the Atkins logo. "This is the cause for our problems." She opened the bottle and out came 4 skittle looking pills. "Hey! I could've sworn there were six in here.."  
  
Milly smirked. "Sorry homes, but I couldn't resist!" she said as a dog looking like Kureneko passes by.  
  
"That explains your colorful language and your hate for pudding.. I mean this guy was only selling some pudding to you but you practically punched him to death!" Meryl mumbled while Milly just smiled.  
  
All of the sudden, the walls in front of them collapsed creating a huge hole.  
  
"MY WALLS!!" Tifa shrieked.   
  
"You guys! More people are coming out of Mark!" Kaite yelled pointing to the pink portal.  
  
-_God that thing needs a new name_!- he thought.  
  
Two figures came out of the portal.   
  
"Midvalley did you have to blast a hole in the wall!? For god's sake we're already inside!" one of the figures said who happened to be Legato.  
  
Everyone was in shock except for Tifa and Kaite who had no clue what was going on. Legato scanned the building and laid his eyes on Knives and walked up to him.  
  
"Master?" he smiled.  
  
"Oh hey Legato! It's been a long time since you well.. Died.. You know you haven't called me in a long time.." said Knives.  
  
Legato smirked. "Well you know,, in the spirit world they don't really have phone card in the real world so yeah.."  
  
"You guys by any chances aren't gay are yah?" Tifa asked while everyone else fell anime style.  
  
Knives and Legato glared at her. "No! we're just metro!" they said showing their finely manicured nails.  
  
"You had to say that huh?" Tifa mumbled.  
  
"Hey what about me!?" Midvalley cried.  
  
"So.. What are you guys doing here?" asked Vash.  
  
Midvalley pointed to Vash. "You killed me so I'm here to avenge my death!!"  
  
"WHAT!? EXCUSE ME BUT YOU KILLED YOURSELF!!" Vash screamed.  
  
Midvalley sweat dropped "Ohhh.. So umm Legato.. What ARE we doing here then?"  
  
Legato sighed. "We're here to buy donuts.."  
  
Midvalley glared at Legato. "I skipped my son's birth for this!? My wife's gonna kill me!"  
  
Kaite leaned over to Vash. "You can do that in the spirit world?" he whispered.  
  
Vash shrugged. "I dunno.."  
  
"So what's your wife's name homes?" Milly asked.  
  
Midvalley answered. "Her name would be Billy Jean.."  
  
"I told you! Billy Jean is not mah guuurrll!" a voice sang.  
  
Everyone turned around and stared in horror. "MICHAEL JACKSON!!"  
  
"In the flesh! Hehehe!" he giggled then turned to Meryl. "My! What a cute little boy!"  
  
Meryl who was now pissed kicked him in the shun. "I'm a girl fcker!!"  
  
"Ouchies! OWWW! YAAHHEEE!!! I can't believe I hit on a girl! Yuck!!" he cried holding his ankle while trying to do one of his dances.  
  
Wolfwood walked up to Michael Jackson and snapped his finger. "Stop! Collaborate and listen! (a/n: anyone remember that? X-D ) either you get back in that portal or I'll throw you there myself!  
  
Michael Jackson tried to escape but Wolfwood caught him by the collar and threw him head first to the portal. "God that guy scares me!"  
  
Everyone clapped their hands and went back to Midvalley.  
  
"Vash I challenge you to a duel using instruments!" said Midvalley pointing to Vash.  
  
Vash smiled and held out a small deck of cards. "Sure! I haven't played in a while! See I have my Guitar card, my trumpet card, and oh look! My drum card!"  
  
Midvalley shook his head. "NO!NO! NO!! We're not playing "Duel instruments" we're playing it real!" he shouted pointing to his saxophone.   
  
Vash made a face. "Well that sucks! I don't have an instrument!"  
  
Midvalley held his saxophone like a club. "Then prepare to face Sylvia!!"  
  
"WAIT!!" Tifa shouted. She took out a flute and threw it to Vash. "I call her Fluti-Tooty-Tabooty-Catooti!"  
  
Everyone gave her a strange look. "FLUTI-BOOTY WHA?"  
  
Tifa: Not flooty-booty! It's fluti-tooty-tabooty-catooti!  
  
Milly: You mean Fluty-Tuty-Caboodles- Noodles?  
  
Tifa: No! fluti-tooty-tabooty-catooti!  
  
Knives: Fluddy-Tuddy-Buttefly?  
  
Tifa: Where'd you get that? It's fluti-tooty-tabooty-catooti!  
  
Meryl: Fluti-Carlooty-Toopy-Loopy?  
  
Tifa: GRR! NO!! fluti-tooty-tabooty-catooti!!  
  
Legato: Fluti-Duddy-Duddy?  
  
Kaite: Flooty-with-Booty?  
  
Midvalley: sucky-flute-buddy?  
  
Tifa: WTF!? NO! fluti-tooty-tabooty-catooti  
  
Vash: Flutes-luvvy-donuts?  
  
Tifa: Not even close!! fluti-tooty-tabooty-catooti!!!!!  
  
Wolfwood: fluti-tooty-tabooty-catooti?  
  
Tifa: NO! fruity loopy .. Wait no that's right ..  
  
Vash twirled the flute. "Well Sylvia prepare to fight-  
  
Everyone gasped. "DON'T SAY IT!!"  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Kitty: sho how was the chapter? anyways there's more to come so until then,,  
  
Everyone: R&R!! 


	4. uhh chpt 4!

Kitty: yikes.. this is kind of longer than the other chapters.. anyways recap.. Milly talks differently, knives is nice, Meryl is short, Wolfwood is here, hmm oh yeah Legato and Midvalley appear! Anyways i feel stupid puting Tifa in the story, but just to remind you, she's just a 'side character' sho yeah, she aint goin to be fallin in love with any of the original characters since that's just stupid.. (sorry but that's just whut i think..) again, 'side character' oh yeah remember to REVIEW!!

**------------------------------------------------------**

**TRIGUN: Uhh.. Chpt. 5!**  
  
"Vash watch out!" Meryl yelled trying to alert him.  
  
Vash was unaware that Midvalley was already charging in with his sax holding it like a club. Before Vash could do anything, Midvalley had already whacked him in the head with his sax.  
  
"Vash!" Meryl screamed.  
  
Vash rubbed his head. "Oh shyt dat hurts!!!"  
  
Wolfwood turned to Legato. "Hey why isn't your friend blowing on his sax to make those wave things?" he asked.  
  
"Because when you're dueling with instruments, you cant use the instrument's true power." said Legato still keeping his eye on Vash and Midvalley.  
  
Milly scoffed at the thought. "That's the dumbest thing ever next to celebrities showing up here."  
  
Everyone watched as Vash and Midvalley whacked each other like cavemen. Honestly it was an embarrassing scene to watch..  
  
Kaite raised an eyebrow. "You call that a duel!?"  
  
As two hours passed by, the fight went on with Vash and Midvalley STILL whacking each other like cave men. Everyone was getting bored including Meryl who was ready to pull her hair off in any minute.  
  
Knives scratched his shoulder. "This is ridiculous! I'm getting a Donut.."  
  
"Aye Tifa you gotz a room around here?" Milly yawned.  
  
Tifa shook her head. "I don't think so."  
  
Milly frowned and kissed Wolfwood on the cheek. "Aww, sorry Nicky!"  
  
Tifa stood up and slammed her fist on the table. "Ohmigod they're still at it like cave people and it's been like 2 hrs!!  
  
"Hey my b-flat!!" Midvalley cried  
  
Kaite leaned over to Meryl. "Hey does b-flat mean your but becomes flat or something??"  
  
Meryl shrugged. "Ehh whoo gives.."  
  
As Vash and Midvalley continued on with their "fight" Tifa snuck behind Midvalley and kicked him in the 'sensitive spot'. Midvalley bit his lower lip and fell to his knees while Vash pointed at him laughing like a maniac. Who wouldnt?  
  
"Hahahahahah! You got served by a girl!!"  
  
Midvalley grunted. "Hah, you got SAVED by a girl!"  
  
Vash paused while Tifa did a victory dance. "Yeah! WOMAN POWER!"  
  
Milly stood up and raised her fist. "For shizzle my nizzle yo!"  
  
Vash developed a vain in his forehead. In frustration, he picked up Midvalley and threw him head first to the portal making it disappear. "Well, that's that!" he said happily dusting his hands.  
  
"NOO! MARK!!" Kaite cried falling to his knees.  
  
Tifa walked up to Vash and held out a deck of cards. "You play 'duel instruments' too? Well, I bet you can't defeat my Happy Harp card or my Ultimate Flute of Melody card!"  
  
Vash smirked. "Actually I can.. I have the five puzzles to the Legendary Piano card and I can always use my Flute capture card to take your Ultimate Flute of Melody."  
  
"Duel Instruments is boring now!" Tifa scoffed throwing her cards at him.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Knives came out of the kitchen with his pockets stuffed with donuts. "Uhh.. Did I miss anything?"  
  
"What now.." Legato wondered scratching his head.  
  
Vash grinned evilly as he took out a three-buttoned remote control. He pressed the first button and the lights became dim. Next he pressed the second button and a disco ball appeared from the ceiling. Finally, he pressed the last button and a random disco song came up.  
  
"Come on people! I know you guys want to!" said Vash doing the Hokey-Pokey.   
  
"This is a disgrace.." Wolfwood muttered slapping his forehead.  
  
Tifa stared at the disco ball in the ceiling. "Hey how did he -  
  
Milly interrupted. "Who cares, let's dance!" she shouted as she gestured everyone to join her.  
  
At first, everyone else was unsure of what to do, but watching Milly and Vash have fun themselves wasn't really fun, so soon they gave in and joined including Wolfwood who was last to surrender. (a/n: psst picture them doing the Hokey-Pokey side-by-side at the same time to a random disco song..)  
  
----Hours Later..----  
  
"Thanks a lot Knives!" yelled an extremely pissed Vash who was covered in bruises along with everyone else.  
  
Knives shook his arms. "Hey I said I was sorry!"  
  
---Flashback---  
  
While Knives was doing the Hokey-Pokey like everyone else, a donut fell from his pocket and rolled under to table; Knives went under the table and crawled out with the donut in his mouth. Unaware that Knives was right in front of him, Vash tripped over Knives and fell on Meryl who accidentally grasped on Wolfwood's leg, making him fall on Milly. Both of them landed on the three-buttoned remote control breaking it, which caused the disco ball to drop on Tifa's head making her collapsed on Legato. Kaite who was unharmed felt left out, so he punched himself in the face passing out on top of Vash. (a/n: whew!)  
  
------End Flashback------  
  
"Arrgh! He says he's sorry Vash! Now can we have something to eat!!?" Milly whined.  
  
Meryl stood on the table. "I declare a donut party!" she announced.   
  
Everyone cheered. "Yeah!!!"  
  
"As long as there's no dancing.. " Knives huffed.  
  
Tifa tapped on Meryl's shoulder. "Hey didn't you say that you took a pill that makes you follow the low carb lifestyle for two months?"  
  
Meryl shook her head. "That crap never works! The plan does, but the pill doesn't.. I mean look at Knives! He's been stealing donuts from you all this time!"  
  
Knives sunk to his seat. "Hey I said I would pay for them!"  
  
"Uhh no you didn't.." said Kaite glaring at him.  
  
"Excuse me you human ASS! Were you there when I said that? Were you? Were you? Huh? Were YAH!? I DON'T THINK SO!!" Knives spat.  
  
Kaite: O.O;  
  
Tifa looked at Meryl. "Didn't you say that guy was nice??"  
  
Meryl shrugged. "He was hours ago.."  
  
Tifa sighed and went straight to the kitchen. Minutes later she came back with a tray filled with fresh cooked donuts and bottles of beer. Once she placed the tray on the table, everyone grabbed as many donuts they could take hoping the person next to them wouldn't have more. Sadly it was Vash who got the most.. u.u;   
  
---Moments later..----  
  
"That was gooooodd!" said Wolfwood. He chugged his beer and threw the bottle at Vash.  
  
"Hey who did that!?"  
  
Wolfwood pointed to Tifa. "She did it! Jeez Tifa what's your problem!!"  
  
"WTF!? I didn't throw the bottle, you did! You must be really drunk to be that fcked up!!" Tifa spat  
  
Wolfwood waved his lighter in the air. "I swear to drunk I'm not god!"  
  
"Are you okay Nick?" Milly asked.  
  
Wolfwood leaned over the table. "Milly,, I'm doing you tonight!" he shouted in his drunken tone making sure everyone heard.  
  
Legato scowled at him. "I'm not Milly.."  
  
"Nick I'm right here.." Milly whispered who sat next to him.  
  
Vash hopped off his seat. "Weellll.. Time to go home! C'mon Meryl.. Bye Tifa, bye Kaite!  
  
"WAIT! Where am I staying!?" Legato cried.  
  
Vash paused for a second. "Hmmm.. Well I guess you could -  
  
"No! Where would Wolfwood stay then!?" Milly interrupted.  
  
Vash scratched his head. "Yeah you right.. Hmm Legato I guess.. You can stay with them!" he said pointing to Kaite and Tifa.  
  
Before Kaite could say anything, Vash and them we're already gone.  
  
Tifa leaned over to Kaite. "Guess he's sleeping with you tonight!" she chuckled.  
  
----Next day (finally!) ---  
  
It was early in the morning and everyone was asleep except for Milly and Meryl who stood in the kitchen making coffee.   
  
"You need a chair there Meryl?" Milly asked looking down on her.  
  
"Why would I need a chair Milly?"  
  
"Well,, you're making coffee on the floor, and you're spilling it everywhere,,"  
  
"…"  
  
"Oh by the way Meryl, there's a letter for you" said Milly handing her a paper.  
  
Meryl eyed her. "And you opened it already?"  
  
"I kind of thought it was mine, but at least I didn't read it!" said Milly rubbing the back of her head.  
  
Meryl read the letter. "It says here the sheriff of Augusta wants me to work for him."  
  
"Oh goody! What do you have to do Meryl?" Milly chirped clapping her hands.  
  
Meryl's eyes widened. "It says here I have to work for him as.. AS A DETECTIVE!?"  
  
Milly waved her spoon in the air. "That's so great Meryl! Ohh.. You'll be just like that Conan kid!"  
  
Meryl collapsed on the floor showing disinterest. "Why.. A .. detective.." she groaned.  
  
"What's wrong with being a detective?"Milly asked

"I'm not really good at solving things and remember, it took me a long time to realize Vash was.. Vash the Stampede.."  
  
Milly sipped her coffee. "Well at least being a detective is better than being a waitress at some stupid bar.."  
  
Meryl hung her head low. "I guess you're right.. But Milly, HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED I'M A DWARF!!"  
  
"Well, just fck with them! Make them feel bad that's your short, and maybe they'll give you a bonus from their sympathy." Milly suggested  
  
"Milly!!"  
  
"Just a thought."  
  
Minutes later, Wolfwood and Vash entered the kitchen still feeling half asleep.  
  
"We want fooood.." Vash grumbled.  
  
Meryl glared at him. "Why don't both of you sit your ass down and wait until food's ready!"  
  
"You're not even cooking!" Wolfwood exclaimed.  
  
Before Meryl could say anything, there was a knock on the door.  
  
"I'll get it.." Vash mumbled walking to the door.  
  
Vash blinked as he opened the door. "Tifa? Kaite? LEGATO!? What are you guys doing here?"  
  
Kaite cleared his throat. "Vash, I've never loved a man in my whole life until now!"  
  
Vash fell on his back. "WHAT THE HELL! ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME!?"  
  
"You idiot I was just kidding! Anyways I just wanted to tell you that.. I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP OUTSIDE ANYMORE!" Kaite cried punching Vash in the face.  
  
Vash turned to Tifa. "WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME!? AND DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT YOUR BROTHER JUST DID??" Vash cried rubbing his face.  
  
"He slept outside today cause Legato kicked him out of his room.. It's your fault he had to sleep outside, I mean you did tell Legato to stay at our place. Anyways we're just here to stop by cause we took Legato out for ice cream. By the way, Krispy Kreme will be closed for a while since _somebody_ damaged it!" said Tifa softly smacking Legato in the back of his head.  
  
"I see.." Vash mumbled.  
  
Legato tapped on Tifa's shoulder. "Now I want hot dog."  
  
"Uhh,, so do you guys want to come in and stay for awhile? "said Vash motioning them to enter.  
  
Once they entered the house, they all went to the kitchen only to find Meryl with a sullen look on her face.  
  
"What's wrong Meryl?" Vash asked.  
  
Meryl sighed. "Sheriff just called. I start today.."  
  
"Start what?" Tifa asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I start today.. As.. A detective." Meryl answered.  
  
Everyone gasped except for Milly. "You're a detective!?"  
  
Wolfwood twitched. "Well, If anyone says I have a stash hidden around here, then they're just being assholes and their souls are full of shit!" he cried waving a small cross around.   
  
"Aww I cant believe you get to be a detective! People are suckers these days, they'll believe whatever you say.." Tifa sang.  
  
Meryl looked at her with wide eyes. "What are you talking about!? Being a detective isn't always like that! You have to be really smart, logical, and all these things I'm probably not."  
  
"Well, at least you know how to follow people.." Vash teased trying to cheer her up.  
  
"I know that for sure.." Meryl giggled.  
  
Tifa cupped her hands. "You know, if you don't want to take the job… Maybe I could .. Fill in for you? I mean.. Until you're ready." said Tifa hoping Meryl would accept since it was always her dream to be a detective next to marrying the richest man in the world.. Or at least being the richest person in the world but marrying and extremely rich person was also an exception.  
  
Meryl looked at her with glee. "You'd do that? But.. There is a catch to this isn't there?"  
  
"Nope" said Tifa in an honest tone.  
  
"Yes there is.."  
  
"No there isn't."  
  
"Uh huh! You're hiding something!"  
  
"Mam! I used to work for Saturn so there is certainly no catch!"  
  
"Yes there is!"  
  
"No there isn't!"  
  
Kaite interrupted. "Omg sis, just tell her the catch!"  
  
"Okay so I guess you can call it 'The hidden catch.." said Tifa scratching her head.  
  
"See! I knew there was a catch!" Meryl spat.  
  
"It's not a catch! It's a hidden catch!" Tifa corrected.  
  
"But it's still a catch!"  
  
"You mean a hidden catch.."  
  
The conversation was now annoying Meryl. "OMFG! Just tell me what the catch is!!"  
  
Tifa fiddled her fingers. "We want you guys to take Legato."  
  
Wolfwood and Milly glared at her. "WE'RE ALREADY FULL HERE!!" they yelled.  
  
Tifa hung her head in defeat. "You guys owe me. Anyways since I start today -  
  
"Don't worry, I received a call from a family saying that their daughter was missing. Their place is just three blocks from here so I'm guessing you better get going." Meryl interrupted.  
  
Tifa, who was for some reason dressed like Sherlock Holmes (a/n: did not know how that happened o.o;) was ready to leave until another interruption came.  
  
"Wait, how would they know it Tifa's you?" Kaite asked.  
  
Meryl shrugged. "Well if you think about it, she kinda looks like me. Just with long hair and black eyes.  
  
"Uhh can I go now?" Tifa muttered raising her hand.  
  
Meryl shook her head. "Hold on.."  
  
-------Outside---------  
  
Tifa dragged her foot in the sand. "I can't believe you guys are going with me." she muttered.  
  
"This is weird.. It's like I'm babysitting my boss!" Vash groaned.  
  
"Are you kidding me? I have to baby-sit both of you! Or should I say three.." Wolfwood grumbled coughing on his cigarette.  
  
"Why am I here?" Legato huffed.  
  
"Leaving you with Knives and the girls, well.. That didn't feel right." said Vash innocently.  
  
"Don't forget my brother.." Tifa added.  
  
Wolfwood stopped in front of a small house. "We're here.." he said bluntly.  
  
Suddenly the door opened and an old lady about 4ft tall came out. "Oh dear! Detective Meryl is here!"  
  
An old man about the same height as the old lady stood beside her holding out a knife. (a/n: dunno whut he's doing with the knife. Carving something? Slicing meat? Nobody knoes o.o) "Which one do you think is Meryl, Helen? He asked looking at the four in front of him.   
  
"Oh I think it's the one with the blue hair George." The old woman answered.  
  
Tifa shook her arms. "No I'm detective Meryl!"  
  
"Then who are those three behind you?" the old man asked.  
  
Tifa rolled her eyes. "My designated followers." she mumbled in sarcasm.  
  
The three scowled at her. "HEY!"  
  
Helen, who happened to be the old lady gestured the four to enter. "Come inside! We have Donuts and tea." she smiled.  
  
Vash beamed. "D-D-D-DONUTS?" he stuttered.  
  
Once inside, the six of them sat in the living room munching tea and donuts.  
  
"These are good, where'd yah get 'em gramps? Err.. I mean George." Vash asked.  
  
"We got them at Dunkin Donuts." George answered.  
  
Tifa choked on her tea. "No! Don't buy any donuts from there! Their donuts are so bad their main ingredient is shit! You should get your donuts at Krispy Kreme! They have better donuts there."  
  
"But you we're just enjoying them." Helen stated  
  
"It's true!" said Vash sticking his thumb up in agreement.  
  
Wolfwood, who was somehow getting irritated spoke up. "So.. About your missing daughter.. Can you describe her to us?"  
  
Helen cupped her hands. "Her name is Mary. She's 6 yrs old with long brown hair. She has a very pale face and her eyes are dark green. She's also about 5ft tall.  
  
Vash dropped the donut in his mouth. "WOW.. That's really tall for a 6 yr old.." he said in amazement.  
  
"When was the last time you saw her Helen?" Tifa questioned.  
  
Helen frowned. "To tell you the truth, Me and George don't remember a thing!"  
  
Wolfwood slammed his fist on the small table next to him. "Then how would you know if your child is missing!?"  
  
"How do we know George?" Helen asked.  
  
"She's not in her room." George responded.  
  
"Did you even bother checking the whole house?" Wolfwood asked raising an eyebrow. (a/n: whoa.. It seems Wolfy is doing most of Tifa's work..)  
  
The old couple shook their heads. "No."  
  
Wolfwood was ready to pull his hair off until Legato spoke letting out a small laugh.  
  
"It's obvious that George killed his own daughter!" he said.  
  
Everyone gasped. "WHAT!?"  
  
Legato smirked and continued. "George killed his daughter with the bloody knife he's holding right now! The motivation? Pleasure. Yes, the pleasure to kill. But no way, he didn't stop there, he didn't want Helen to know so he snuck behind Helen and decapitated her and buried Helen's remaining outside next to Mary's.  
  
The five stared at him with their mouths open.  
  
"But I'm right here.." Helen mumbled raising her hand.  
  
"And my knife isn't bloody!" George cried out.  
  
Wolfwood covered his face. "I'm surrounded by idiots.." he muttered.  
  
Vash looked to the screen (a/n: as in he's looking at you! Yes you!) "Hey can you help us find their missing child?"  
  
Tifa stared at him. "Like that's going to work Vash!!"  
  
Suddenly a blue arrow appeared and pointed to a sleeping figure in a room next to them.  
  
"Forget what I said.." Tifa mumbled.  
  
Vash ran to the sleeping figure. "I think this is your daughter!" He pulled the covers revealing.. A dog.. "What!? I was for sure it was their daughter! Damn you readers!!"  
  
The old man sighed. "Meryl, I expected more from you. It was a good thing I did this."  
  
Tifa blinked, "What are you talking about!? They didn't give me a chance to speak! They're just trying to take my job, I know it!"  
  
George pulled out a badge. "I'm the sheriff of Augusta. This was just a test.. I thought you'd figure out by now that we didn't really have a child! You played.. Not too well dear Meryl.. Sad to say that.. YOU'RE FIRED!"  
  
Wolfwood lit his cigarette. "This doesn't make any sense.." he muttered.  
  
--------Meanwhile-------  
  
Meryl sat in her bed thinking. -_I wonder how they're doing right now_..- she thought.  
  
Suddenly he door flew open and there stood Vash, Wolfwood, Tifa, and Legato holding what seemed to be wrapped gifts. The four entered singing the 'Happy Birthday' song.  
  
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!! Happy birthday dear Meryl!!! Happy Birthday to you!!!!!"  
  
Tifa walked up to her and handed her a mug. "It's a Krispy Kreme coffee mug! Hope you like it!"  
  
Meryl blinked. "Uhh thanks Tifa.. I guess.."  
  
Next it was Vash's turn. "I got you a shirt Meryl!" he said happily holding out a black shirt with white letterings.   
  
"It says.. 'Blondes do it Better' .. umm okay.. Thanks Vash.." Meryl mumbled.  
  
Then Legato approached her, which sent chills up her spine. "Uhh.. I was forced to give you a gift so I got you a banana!"  
  
"A banana,, wow.." said Meryl sarcastically.  
  
Finally it was Wolfwood's turn. "I got you a sword!"  
  
Everyone in the room gasped. "A sword!?"  
  
Wolfwood handed sword to Meryl. "Here you go!"  
  
"Hey why is the sword white and has fur on the handles?" Tifa wondered.  
  
Meryl swung the sword around. "This is great Wolfwood, but it's not my birthday.." she frowned.  
  
"Uhh.. Get well soon!!" Tifa shouted.  
  
"I'm fine though.."  
  
"Merry Christmas?"  
  
"It's not Christmas.. Okay what's going on here??" Meryl asked glaring at the four.  
  
"Wegotyoufiredbyemeryl!" Vash cried.  
  
Before Meryl could say anything, the four ran out the door.  
  
---Meanwhile in a different world..-----  
  
"You idiot! You lost the Tetsuisaiga!?(sp?)" Miroku shouted.  
  
"It wasn't my fault a pink swirly thing swallowed it!" Inuyasha spat.  
  
Kagome fell to her knees. "How do we defeat Naraku now?" she cried.  
  
Inuyasha twitched his ears. "I knew this would happen somehow.. Kagome, get the paper hearts.."  
  
--------------------------------------------------------  
  
A/N: OMG! THAT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO WRITE!! Anyways I was too lazy to explain whut Milly, Knives, and Kaite were doing when Vash and them got back.. PLEASE R&R!


	5. Wolfwood the Explorer!

Kitty: NO! NO! NO! Omg I'm going completely off track here! The whole point of the story was for Vash to work at K.K and make an ass out of himself with the bagels! Also the pills from chpt.2 will be wearing off soon.. It's just not working right :( dammit also Meryl was suppose to be the detective, but then I didn't want to make her stupid or anything.. On with Fic..  
  
Psst.. I was really high writing this chapter so yeah.. anyway school is almost here.. aww! but i'll TRY to update.. i also hope cheerleading wouldnt get in the way since i still love anime! School can change ya.. yu kno?

Disclaimer: dun own trigun.. Blah or the songs from Dora the Explorer.. which have been changed a lil..  
  
****

****

**TRIGUN: Wolfwood the Explorer.  
**  
Meryl pulled her hair with rage. "I can't believe this! Me, FIRED? Meryl Strife is never fired!!"  
  
"But Meryl, we didn't err I mean it's all Tifa's fault!" Vash cried trying to calm the shorty down.  
  
"WHAT!? No way! You guys were the one's with all these weird theories or whatever.. I didn't get a chance to talk!" Tifa spat.  
  
"Excuse me but you had so many chances to talk! Instead you were too busy chomping on the donuts from Dunkin Donuts!" Vash exclaimed firing back to the crazed brunette.  
  
Meryl and Legato sat there munching on the donuts Vash stole while they watched the other two go at it like little monkeys.  
  
"So Legato.. " Meryl started, still watching Vash and Tifa throw lame excuses and insults at each other. "What really happened?"   
  
Legato looked at her innocently and frowned. "I was the only one doing the work, thanks to me.. I was asking all the questions. Vash's dumb boss did nothing but sit there and eat donuts, Wolfwood was just there smoking, while Vash himself stood there talking to the ceiling. Also, he said the that guy killed his own daughter so the man got mad at Tifa and fired her."  
  
"Thanks for telling me Legato! I will see to it that they face my wrath.. Which is later.." said Meryl smiling happily.  
  
Legato started to tremble nervously. "Umm.. You're welcome my Lady Meryl.."  
  
"Lady Meryl huh.. I like that.." Meryl mumbled tapping her chin. "By the way, where's Wolfwood?"  
  
"I believe he's in his room." Legato replied.  
  
"I see."  
  
Suddenly the door flew open with Kaite standing there shaking. "You guys, you know that really tall girl, she's been kidnapped!" he cried.  
  
Vash and Tifa stopped their fight. "KIDNAPPED? WHO!?"  
  
"Are you talking about Milly?" Meryl asked quite shaken herself.  
  
"Yeah I think that's her name. Also the she left a letter!" said Kaite holding out a piece of paper.  
  
Vash rubbed his chin. "The letter 'C'? What could that mean?"  
  
"I know huh!" Kaite agreed. Then he held out another piece of paper. "She also left a note!"  
  
Meryl took the note and read it out loud.  
  
_Dear Everyone,  
  
Some guy with weird glasses has kidnapped me! Take a hint. Anyway I'm tied to a chair right now so you better hurry if you want to rescue me! Even thought I could easily take the guy out myself, wouldn't really mind if you come. I mean he is expecting you and all, hey bring pudd- wait NO PUDDING! NO PUDDING! Bring cookies and the guy says he wants an apple. Make sure it's green! Gosh what a picky fellow.. Oh yeah, HELP ME!!  
  
- MILLY  
_  
After that, everyone stood there with a sweat drop.  
  
_-Why is it that I don't feel bad for her??-_ Meryl thought.  
  
"So Kaite, why didn't you stop the guy?" Vash asked.  
  
"I'm sorry.. It was just that I was in the bathroom and I couldn't hear a thing!" Kaite murmured.  
  
Tifa cocked an eyebrow. "What were you doing in the bathroom? And why is your nose all powdery?"  
  
Kaite covered his nose. "I was doing uh.. STUFF!! Plus, we should be worrying about that woman!" he cried trying to defend himself.  
  
"Does Wolfwood know about this?" said Vash scratching his head.  
  
"I do now.." said Wolfwood bluntly. "By the way, can you believe someone was messing with my stash!? Err I mean stuff?"  
  
Hearing this, Kaite hid behind Vash, hoping Wolfwood wouldn't see his ashy nose.  
  
"ENOUGH!" Meryl interrupted. "We're here to get Milly remember? Let's go!"  
  
Unexpectedly, Legato took Meryl's hand and held it to his face. "My dear Lady Meryl, I wish to accompany you on rescuing this Milly person to repay your kindness on me."  
  
A huge blush formed across Meryl's cheeks. "Umm.. I uh.. S-sure.. L-Legato.." she stuttered.  
  
_-WHAT!? MERYL KIND TO HIM? Since when did he start being so.. ButtkisserISH? Asshole..-_Vash thought sending Legato a cold stare.  
  
Kaite tugged on Meryl's sleeve. "Hey you think I can come too? I feel really bad I didn't get to stop the guy and everything.."  
  
"Oh it's really no problem! I'm pretty sure Milly is doing fine, and I've been with her for a long time so I would know." said Meryl optimistically.   
  
As the five headed out the door, Kaite turned to Tifa. "So sis, you're not coming?""  
  
Tifa shook her head. "Nah.. I feel bad for getting Meryl fired and all so I'll be watching this place for her. Anyways Kaite good luck!"  
  
"Thanks sis.."  
  
Once the five were outside, Tifa slowly closed the door behind her. _-Well Tifa, the place is all yours! Now that they're gone time to partay! Wow.. Just like college all over again.. HEY! WHERE'S the phone?-  
_  
Suddenly Knives stood a few feet from her twirling the phone in his hands. "Looking for this?"  
  
---Meanwhile.. To Wolfwood and the others!!--  
  
Meryl looked at everyone. "Got the cookies?"   
  
"Got 'em" said Kaite.  
  
"Apple?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
Wolfwood lit his cigarette. "You guys ready?" he asked.  
  
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.  
  
_-I'm coming Milly..-_ Wolfwood thought.  
  
As Wolfwood and them started walking, out of nowhere a song started to play..  
  
W-W-Wolfwood! W-W-Wolfwood! Wolfwood, Wolfwood, Wolfwood, the explorer!! WOLFWOOD! Meryl and super cool explorer Wolfwood!  
  
Vash: -looks to your screen- We need your help! (not really..)  
  
Wolfwood: grab your crosses!  
  
Meryl: Let's go!  
  
Kaite: Jump in!  
  
Legato: On we go!! (don't know Spanish so none in here..)  
  
All: YOU CAN LEAD THE WAAAYYY!! (No you cant..)  
  
W-W-Wolfwood, W-W-Wolfwood! Wolfwood, Wolfwood, Wolfwood,   
  
"**VASH TURN THAT OFF**!!" Wolfwood screamed.  
  
Vash turned his radio off which he had been holding all this time for no apparent reason. "Great! I hired all those us look-alikes to sing that song for no reason? Jeez Wolfwood thanks a lot!"  
  
"So what do the directions say Meryl?" Wolfwood asked ignoring Vash.  
  
Legato put his hand on Meryl's shoulder. "You seem tired Lady Meryl! Maybe I should read the directions for you!" (AN: uhh.. Lady Meryl crap is making me gag lol u.u; )  
  
"But we just started walking.." Meryl mumbled.  
  
"That's why I should read them for you!!" said Vash pushing Legato out of the way.  
  
_-Is it me or is that woman getting taller?-_ Kaite thought.  
  
Suddenly the directions magically jumped on Meryl's hand and started dancing. "If there's a place you gotta go, I'm the one you need to know I'm the directions! I'm the directions, I'm the directions, If there's a place you gotta get, I can get you there I bet, I'm the directions!! I'm the directions, I'm the directions, I'm the directions, I'm the directions, I'm the directions. I'm the directions, I'M THE DIRECTIONS!!" with that, the directions soon turned back into its old normal dead self. Apparently no one was surprised so they just continued on.  
  
Meryl held the directions to her face. "Okay so it says first we go to the four hills in front of Augusta. There we will meet a guy who claims to be 'Donut Man' Please kill him if you want to see rescue 'her' quickly."  
  
_-WTF!? What does that have to do with getting to Milly!?-_ Meryl thought.  
  
"Wait no!! We can't kill Donut Man!! I love Donut Man! We practically have a million things in common!" Vash cried.  
  
Kaite cocked his eyebrow. "Like what?"  
  
"Well, he makes donuts, and I eat donuts! Also, he does impossible errands, and my favorite movie is Mission Impossible!" Vash babbled.  
  
--Meanwhile--  
  
Knives growled at the television screen constantly flipping through the channels with the remote control. "GAH! Why is it that every channel I flip to, somehow there's always a human there!?" Then he turned to Tifa who stood beside him holding a tray and wearing that black and white maid uniform. "Hey you human Tiffany, fix the damn T.V! I want to see more butterflies than humans!"  
  
"Hey! The name's Tifa, not Tiffany!"  
  
"I'll call you what I want now fix the damn T.V!"  
  
"Excuse me but I don't own the Discovery Channel!"  
  
"JUST FIX IT!"  
  
_-What have I gotten myself into? Asshole..-_Tifa thought.  
  
"Hey I heard that!!!"  
  
(A/N: Told ya pill's wearing off.. Hey let's see how Milly is doing!)  
  
Milly pointed to a shiny object nearby. "Hey mister, what's that?"  
  
"A gun.." a voice replied.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Hey mister what's that?"  
  
"A gun."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Hey mister, what's that?"  
  
"A GUN!!" the voice barked sounding really ticked off. Obviously..  
  
"Oh." _-These ropes are making me itch..-_  
  
(AN: … umm ok.. Back to the guys I guess..)  
  
The five stood before the four hills in front of them.  
  
"We're here, but Donut Man is nowhere in sight." Meryl mumbled scratching her chin.  
  
Wolfwood clenched his fist. "DAMMIT! I think the directions were just a load of bull to piss us off! .. And it's actually working!"  
  
"Look, the directions are the only way to get to Milly. If not, how else can we get to her?" Meryl exclaimed trying to calm the priest down.  
  
"She does have a point there.." Vash muttered.  
  
Legato stood in front of Meryl holding his arms out. "Do not blame her for this. If she's wrong, it's your fault you listened to her."  
  
Meryl nodded in agreement. "Yeah! … wait WHAT!?"  
  
While a fight went on between the three, Vash and Kaite stood there watching.  
  
"Uhh.. Vash?" said Kaite tugging his coat.  
  
"What is it Kaite?"  
  
"I just realized there's all these footprints around us.. Kind of freaky isn't it?"  
  
Vash gave him a strange look. "Kaite those footprints are ours.." Then he raised his finger. "Hey let's follow and see where they lead us to!"  
  
"Why do I even bother?" Kaite mumbled covering his face.  
  
All of the sudden, a geeky guy in a donut costume walked up to the five. "Sorry for my interruptions but do you know where I can find a donut convention around here?"  
  
Meryl, Wolfwood, and Legato stopped their fighting and glared at the guy in the donut suit. "GET HIM!!"  
  
Wolfwood tried to reach for his Cross Punisher but suddenly; it magically jumped away from him and started dancing. -WTF?- Wolfwood thought.  
  
"If there's a place you gotta go… oh wait wrong song.. CROSS, CROSS, CROSS, CROSS! CROSS, CROSS, CROSS, CROSS! I'm the cross that's loaded up with bombs and bullets too! Anything that you might need I got inside for you! CROSS, CROSS, CROSS, CROSS! CROSS, CROSS, CROSS, CROSS! YAY!"  
  
Unaware that Vash was right behind the cross, Vash held the cross to his chest. He was going to hold it over his head, but the thing was way too friggin heavy.  
  
"Vash no… swiping.." Kaite cried trying to stop him.  
  
Vash let out a cheesy sinister laugh. "You're too late! .. You'll never kill now!"  
  
Meryl, who was still holding on to the guy in the donut suit stomped her foot. "VASH! You put that thing down right now and give it back to Wolfwood!" she shouted.  
  
The dude in the donut suit straightened his glasses. "What's going on here?"  
  
Vash resisted holding the cross tightly to his chest. "NEVER!!" he roared.  
  
Wolfwood slowly walked up to him. "Vash.. Milly is out there and we have to get her! Who knows what's happening to her. I swear to God you don't know how much I want to kick your ass right now!"  
  
----------------  
  
Milly glared at her cards and glanced at the man sitting across her doing the same. "Got any 3's?" she yawned. _-jeez what's taking them so long!-  
_  
----------------  
  
"You can't stop me Wolfwood!" Vash barked. Then he flashed a no-smoking ad to Wolfwood's face. "Feel the wrath of the no-smoking ad! Did you know a cigarette contains nicotine that can damage your lungs which causes -  
  
Wolfwood covered his ears. "STOP IT!" he cried falling to his knees.  
  
"We've lost him.." Kaite muttered.  
  
Meryl turned to Legato. "I guess we're going to have to kill Donut Man ourselves."  
  
"Yes but where is he Lady Meryl?" Legato inquired.  
  
Meryl scanned her surroundings and indeed, the geeky guy in the donut suit had escaped her evil grasp leaving a trail of.. Leaving a trail of.. Ahh who cares! Realizing this, Meryl angrily jumped up and down pulling her hair. "Arrgh! This is .. PERPETUALLY INSULTING!!"  
  
"Please do not feel indignant. Just read what's next in the directions, and we'll just do them.." said Legato trying to calm Meryl, which at the moment seemed impossible.  
  
Meryl took a few deep breaths and took out the directions. Luckily it didn't sing or dance because if it did important or not, she would have ripped the whole thing in pieces. It was a good thing Legato was there to keep her a little sane. It was kind of weird she was with him, after all he was a psychotic freak. "It says.. JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE FIRST DIRECTIONS!?"  
  
Before she could reach her anger to a whole new level, Legato once again tried to calm her down. "Why is it that you didn't see that before? Just read the next directions."  
  
"When reading directions, I have a habit of just focusing on the one that needs to be read. Once I've finished that, I move on to the next one. By the way; there's no more directions. Just the crappy lyrics to the song 'Oops I Did it Again' " said Meryl calmly. You could tell it didn't feel right. Somehow Meryl had managed to suppress all her anger; but how?  
  
Sensing this, Legato backed away from her giving Meryl some space. It was impossible for her to just suppress all that anger. The poor thing must have felt the need to kill someone right then and there.  
  
Meryl calmly cleared her throat and turned to Vash's direction who was still flashing no-smoking ads to the priest. "VASH THE STAMPEDE! Are you happy now that your friend has escaped? Come here." said Meryl motioning him to walk up to her.  
  
Hearing the "would-be" love of his life call out to him, Vash dropped the Cross Punisher on Wolfwood who sat there in the sand rocking back and fourth rambling about how healthy smoking was for him. He walked happily up to Meryl but soon stopped halfway thinking about the situation. Why was Meryl so calm? Just seeing her standing there and smiling at him lovingly with a calm face didn't feel right. The Meryl he knew would have already threatened to kill him or at least nag on him; But why wasn't she like that? Was Legato controlling her? No. Seeing that Legato had backed away from her, he guessed Legato was feeling the same way he was feeling. Vash took a good look at her; loving eyes, calm face. - Wait there it was! He knew that Meryl wasn't being nice for no reason, especially in the circumstances they were in, but there it was!  
  
Meryl tilted her head to the side. "Well? Aren't you going to come here?" she asked still with a calm tone.  
  
"U-um M-Meryl, y-you're no g-g-gonna hurt m-me a-re ya?" Vash stuttered shaking tremendously.  
  
"What are you talking about? I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to talk?" said Meryl with a playful look on her face.  
  
At this point, Vash didn't want to play her evil game anymore. "MERYL come on! I know you want to hit me cause I can see that mallet you're holding right behind your back!!"  
  
Meryl cursed under her breath now showing anger. How were they going to get to Milly if that idiot stampede was just going to get in her way! Of course, she did have feelings for him but it was just that her best friend in all of Gunsmoke was kidnapped! She was ready to throw the mallet at him until an interruption came.  
  
"Sorry to be rude but I hear Vash the Stampede is here?" said an extremely huge man with all these colors on his coat.  
  
Vash, Meryl, and Kaite (who had been lazily doing nothing all this time) gawked at the man in front of them. "B.D.N!?"  
  
Legato and Wolfwood (now at normal self) stood there having no clue of what was going on, stared at the guy with the colorful suit wondering who the hell he was.  
  
The man in the colorful coat tipped his hat up showing his face. "Yes! B.D.N as in Brilliant Dynamites Neon!.. But you can call me Tim!!"  
  
"Uh.. B.D .. or Tim, what brings you here?" Kaite asked.  
  
"Kaite.. Long time no see! Anyway, I'm here to settle a duel with your friend here Vash the Stampede. I do hope he remembers the promise I made." he replied  
  
"W-WHAT!? Dammit I thought he forgot!" Vash cried  
  
"No I haven't Vash. It's time we settle our fight here.. Oh yes have I forgotten to introduce you my new friend here? His name is Alga the Glass Eater!" said B.D.N pointing to an ugly short man next to him wearing nothing but a pink girly tank top and navy blue shorts. His monobrow was completely bushy and straight, and you could see his nose hair growing 5 inches from his nose. Also his clothes didn't match.. GASP! Yes.. That hideous.  
  
Kaite raised his eyebrow. "Is he your new side-kick or something?"  
  
B.D.N or should I say 'Tim' shook his head. "No he just stands there for no apparent reason eating glass.That is why he is called 'The Glass Eater'. You see, I took him because when I stand next to him, he makes me somehow feel even more beautiful! Come on, compare me with him!" he said standing next to Alga while flexing his extremely huge muscles.  
  
"Well.." Vash started. "Alga is obviously hideous since his clothes don't match, and you seem kind of different."  
  
B.D.N smiled. "Yes as you can see I've been working ou-  
  
"No I was talking about your shoes." Vash interrupted.  
  
"Oh." B.D.N muttered looking down. "Well my shoes are very new! Look at the evil flashy colors in my shoes! Don't they make you squirm? Also, can you believe I got a discount on these from Gucci?"  
  
Meryl rolled her eyes. "No way!" she beamed sarcastically.  
  
"Yes it's true!" said B.D.N. Then he took out more colorful flashy stuff from his coat. "I'm the only one in all of Gunsmoke with this items! As you can see, my colorful flashy coat, my colorful flashy gun, my colorful flashy rubber duck 'squeak squeak'." Then he took off his shoes and waved them high in the air. "Alas, my extremely colorful and flashy shoes! Now no one will make fun of my like they used to in fashion school since everything I wear matches! Thanks to my pretty pink high-heeled boots! … wait.. PRETTY PINK HIGH-HEELED BOOTS!?" he cried realizing that someone had replaced his extremely flashy and colorful shoes with pretty pink high-heeled boots.he looked around and saw Vash prancing around Wolfwood and Legato in his extremely flashy and colorful shoes.  
  
Vash let out a sinister laugh. "Hah! I, Vash have swiped again! Whoa these look good on me! But then again, anything looks good on me!" Vash sang.  
  
B.D.N tried to go after him but realized the hot sand burnt his feet so he couldn't move. "Gah!! I, seeing that I'm not wearing any socks on have no choice but to wear these pretty pink high-heeled boots!" Once he slid them on, he wobbled over to Vash but at the same time trying to gain his balance.  
  
"Bet you cant catch me!" Vash teased purposely running in slow motion.  
  
"How dare you mock me!" B.D.N barked still struggling to get to Vash.  
  
By this time, Meryl had realized she had forgotten about Milly. -Oh no I forgot about Milly!- see? She cupped her hands over her mouth and called out to B.D.N. "Hey Tim! Have you seen a man with a really tall woman around here!? If so, where did they go!?"  
  
B.D.N paused for a while and nodded. "Yes.. I think I did. They went to that cave over there!" he shouted back pointing to a cave behind him.  
  
Wolfwood dropped the cigarette in his mouth. "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T WE SEE THAT BEFORE!?"  
  
"Who cares, now let's go!!" Meryl yelled running towards the cave.  
  
"What about Vash?" Kaite asked running to Meryl's side.  
  
"Leave him with his duel buddy!" Meryl exclaimed passing Vash and B.D.N who were still chasing each other in slow motion.  
  
Once the four got to the cave, it was empty except for the abandoned items that lie inside.  
  
"Are we too late.." Wolfwood whispered falling to his knees. (AN: god he has a habit of doing that!)  
  
"Hey there's a note!" said Kaite pointing to a piece of paper on the floor.  
  
Meryl took the note and read it out loud.  
  
_Heh! What'dya know?   
The guy was expecting for Wolfwood to come, but seeing   
that you haven't come for me yet, he thinks I'm the wrong person!   
__So I guess I'm going home after all! See ya at home!  
If you ever get this letter, Hi!  
  
-MILLY  
_  
"**WHHAAATTT!!!???"** Wolfwood roared banging his head on the wall.  
  
Kaite grabbed his hair. "Are you saying we did all this for nothing!?"  
  
Legato calmly shrugged. "Look to the bright side, we got something out of it."  
  
"And what would that be!?" Wolfwood growled.  
  
"Have you noticed that Lady Meryl got taller? I think she's back to her original size."  
  
Meryl examined herself. "Hey! You're right! Hey Knives you're.. Wait.. Knives isn't here.."  
  
Wolfwood cocked an eyebrow. "You didn't know that?"  
  
"That must mean Vash's boss is watching the place with .. Knives!" Meryl gasped.  
  
"What are you guys saying?" Kaite questioned suspiciously.   
  
"Oh nothing.." Meryl mumbled.  
  
"So what we got out of this was that Meryl just got taller throughout this seemingly short adventure?" said Wolfwood making it sound more like a statement than a question.  
  
"Oh yeah, how come I'm tall again when the pill says I have to wait two months?" Meryl inquired.   
  
Legato cupped his hands. "You see, we not only got to see Meryl grow back to her old self, but we also got sand in our pants, dust on our clothes, and not to mention the feeling of stupidity; but seeing how Meryl grow taller in just a matter of days is something you nor I can decipher. Not even the almighty up there.. Now that I have said such a unique word, I would like to say it again. Decipher.. There! Can we go home now?"  
  
"Dammit!" Wolfwood cried. "Well.. at least I get to see my Milly home safe. I wanted to to piss that guy off, cause he said he wanted a green apple and i got him a red one!"

----------------------------------  
  
Kitty:.. .. .... that was... weird? yupp.. I would like to thank these fellow reviewers!I LUV YU GUYS!! psst more chapters to come!!

Tug: lol hmm i think I know what you mean x-D

MSkyDragons: Why thank you! i didnt really think people would think that it'd be hilarious xD

browneyed: Well at least you got see more pink portal goodness in chapter three! But i dun kno if you would call it "pink portal goodness"

SapphireWhiteTigress: hmm Milly didnt really change much huh? I mean yeah she was just talking "differently" and also her hate for pudding.. didnt take much effect. But I'll try in do that in the next chapters.

Hotaru Bluesummers: Yes you're right i should have stuck to the cased closed idea, but at least i did! .. err well yeah didnt really last long tho lol

Vash-fangirl4life: I actually thought people wouldnt laugh much on chpt. 2 , but thanks! Cause i actually laughed more on chp.3 but it's good to kno =]

Danielle: uhh thank you!!!!!! -hugs- i feel special now lol

Sephiroth1Ripley8: Yeah same here, dont really get the last two words on "flooty-tooty-tabooty-catooti" so i just made up some crap to make em sound , you know?

Tortured-Soul-so-Young: wow everyone? -interested-How many ppl are you talking about? lol I'm just weird! psst to tell you the truth.. psst.. i never tried the donuts at dunkin donuts so i dunno whut they taste like 0.o;

The Amazing Tsu-chan: As you can see, I've already continued it :)

Needle-Noggin: Oh yeah! he/she says it's AWSOME and they luv it! WOOT!!!

TwistedAngel111586: woo hoo! more people luving my fic!!!

WolfbanesHybrid: whoa Awsome author and an inspiration? OH YEA! THANKS!!YAY! x-D

vashluver1: aww! thanks =] (i know i suck at thanking pplz but dunno whut else to say :( i want to say more tho )


	6. Legato calls the GHGs

  
  
Kitty: ok so I guess chpt. 6 sucked. I don't know hmm sorry 'bout that then :( anyways this was somehow on my mind.. funny or not, at least I had "fun" with it! (I'm talking about this chpt.)  
  
please review! If you're one of those "serious" people, I suggest you don't read this.. kind of short but oh well! BEWARE! TOTALLY POINTLESS! skip if yu want  
  
**TRIGUN: Legato calls the GHGs**  
  
----Two days after chpt. 6-----  
  
Legato gawked at the phone card on the table in front of him. Since he was such a "good boy" yesterday for threatening the workers at Krispy Kreme to work even harder since most of them couldn't keep their eyes off that huge hole Midvalley made, Tifa had rewarded him with a phone card to the spirit world. Though he knew he deserved more than that; like at least a tub of vanilla flavored ice cream or a bag of hotdogs, he noted to himself that Tifa was indeed a cheap person.  
  
So there.. It was just him and the phone card. The two siblings he had to live with were too busy working with that stupid humanoid typhoon. Also, his "Lady Meryl" had been avoiding him for some reason.. Why? Ever since that day when he asked if he could taste her blood, she had stopped talking to him, which made their relationship go downhill. .. Did they even have a relationship? Anyway he was bored so he dialed a number.  
  
---A few minutes later after ringing so many times.---  
  
Midvalley: Uhh.. Hello?  
  
Legato: Midvalley!! What'cha doing!? What's going on!?  
  
Midvalley: Oh hey Legato.. -curses under his breath- I'm just with my wife and my new son watching the game..  
  
Legato: I see, I see, it's cool. Hey hold on, I'm putting someone on k?  
  
Midvalley: Sure..  
  
**-BEEP-**  
  
Dominique: .. Uhh who's this?  
  
Legato: DOMINIQUE! What'cha doing!? What's going on!? HEEYY!  
  
Midvalley: WAASSUUP!!!  
  
Dominique: ..Oh.. OOHHH HEEYY!! It's been a long time!! Hey can you hold on for a second?  
  
**-BEEP BEEP BLAH BLAH-**  
  
Caine: Hello?  
  
Midvalley: WAAASSUUPP!!?  
  
Dominique: HEEYY! CAINE! it's been a long time!  
  
Legato: CAINE!! What'cha doing!? What's going on!?  
  
Caine: huh? OHH YO!!  
  
**-BEEP-**  
  
Kureneko: MEEEEOOOOOOWWWW!! (WAAAZZZUPP!!!)  
  
Caine: Yo! It's Kureneko!! HEEYY!  
  
Midvalley: yeah WASSUP!!!  
  
Legato: KURENEKO!! What'cha doing!? What's going on!?  
  
Dominique: HEEY!! It's been a long time!!! .. Wait who's Kureneko?  
  
Caine: It's da black cat that keeps following Vash Yo!!  
  
Dominique: Oh.. HEEYY!!!  
  
Kureneko: Meow.. (Bastards)  
  
Midvalley: Hey someone's on! Lemmi put 'em up.  
  
Legato: Sure, sure.  
  
Dominique: Yeah go ahead.  
  
Caine: Yo!  
  
Kureneko: meow. (AIIGHT!)  
  
**-BEEP-  
**  
Gray: Huh?  
  
Caine: AYE IT'S GRAY!! YO!!  
  
Dominique: HEEYY! GRAY! It's been a long time!!  
  
Midvalley: WASSUUUPP!!  
  
Legato: GRAY!! What'cha doing!? What's going on!?  
  
Gray: Hey! WAAASSUPP!!  
  
Midvalley: .. That's my word..  
  
Dominique: yeah think of something else..  
  
Legato: True.  
  
Caine: YO..  
  
Gray: Fine! Umm.. WHAT'S UP IN DA HIZZAY!?  
  
Midvalley: Good enough..  
  
Dominique: Yeah..  
  
Legato: True.  
  
Caine: YO..  
  
Midvalley: Hold one someone's calling..  
  
**-BEEP-**  
  
Rei-Dei : hello?  
  
Caine: Rei-Dei !! YO!!  
  
Midvalley: WAASSUPP!!!  
  
Legato: Rei-Dei ! What'cha doing!? What's going on!?  
  
Dominique: It's been a long time!! HEEYYY!!!  
  
Gray: WHAT'S UP IN DA HIZZAY!!  
  
Kureneko: MEEEEOOOOWWWWW!! (WAZZZUUUPPP!!)  
  
Rei-Dei : Hey! What's HAPPENIN!?  
  
Midvalley: Nothing much.  
  
Legato: Yea we're cool.  
  
Dominique: Yup..  
  
Gray: Ditto..  
  
Caine: YO..  
  
Dominique: Hey do you guys want to call more people?  
  
Legato: Sure, yeah ..  
  
Midvalley: How about Leonaf?  
  
Caine: Yo that old geezer!? NAH!  
  
Gray: Yeah don't call him..  
  
Rei-Dei : Same here..  
  
Dominique: How about Zazie?  
  
Legato: Yeah call him instead.  
  
Midvalley: sure!  
  
Gray: We're cool.  
  
Rei-Dei : Yeah it's aiight.  
  
Caine: Yo..  
  
Dominique: Alright. -dials Zazie's number-  
  
**-BEEP-**  
  
Zazie: Hello?  
  
Caine: ZAZIE!! YO!!  
  
Legato: ZAZIE! What'cha doing!? ZAZIE!! What's going on!?  
  
Midvalley: ZAZIE! WAAAASSSUUPP!!

Dominique: HEEEYYY!! IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME!! ZAZIE!!!  
  
Gray: ZAZIE!! WHAAT'S UP IN THE HIIZZZAAAY!!  
  
Rei-Dei : ZAZIE!! What's happenin!!?  
  
Kureneko: MEEEOOOWWW!! (WAAAZZZUUPP!)  
  
Zazie: .... get a life you guys.. -hangs up-  
  
Legato: Bastard..

Midvalley: ...

Dominique: ... LET'S KICK HIS ASS!! -hangs up-  
  
Caine: YO!! bye..  
  
Rei-Dei and Gray: Aiight laterz!  
  
-------------------

Legato: So Midvalley. what'cha doing? what's going on?  
  
Midvalley: Just with my wife and my new son wathing the game.  
  
Legato: I see, I see, it's cool.


	7. A Day With Legato

HELLO! Well it's actually been a long time since I updated... Practically like years now? Lol I have no clue... Anyways I'm sorry if this story got kind of cheesy... I mean with all the celebrities, out of character, legato calling Meryl "Lady Meryl" and nonsense... It must be annoying now! But hey I wanted to update because of this idea... (I give credit to DNANGEL)

* * *

Ever wondered what a day with our heroes would be like? Well first let's start off with Legato! 

7:00 in the morning Legato wakes up bright and early without an alarm clock! Since he's so naturally good looking, he skips any sort of primping and goes downstairs.

7:30 after half an hour of thinking, legato eats whatever he wants! Mostly he eats cheesecakes, pancakes, cupcakes, and all sorts or deserts! Yes, he eats deserts at breakfast! (Without getting fat!) Oh and he eats hot dogs too.

8:45 after eating a hearty and healthy meal, he goes back upstairs and changes into his working outfit! (Those uniforms they wear at K.K.)

9:45 once he arrives at Krispy Kreme fashionably late, he helps Tifa and Kaite around the place making Vash do all the work!

12:22 after working so hard, (whew!) Legato takes and break and visit's the bar which was right next to Krispy Kreme. As Legato enters, he ignores the ladies attracted to his beauty and sees Wolfwood and sits right next to him. Seeing that Wolfwood is having a smoke, Legato asks for some but Wolfwood wont share!

12:37 Legato eats his lunch after a long wait because of a slow waitress and chows down on cheesecakes, pancakes, cupcakes, oh and hotdogs too. No drink needed because he wasn't that thirsty!

1:00 as he heads back to work, He ignores all of Tifa's ramblings and sits down (which he does at work all the time!)

3:15 OH NO! Legato got caught! Now he has timeout and has to fix the hole all by himself. But look who passes by... Kaite!

8:00 Once the crew was ready to go home, Legato leaves early angrily without saying goodbye.

8:15 Legato cooks dinner all for himself without changing any clothes. He makes cheesecakes, pancakes, cupcakes, oh and hotdogs too!

9:00 look whose home! Kaite and Tifa! But no food for them because Legato has eaten all the food.

9:15 Feeling so exhausted, Legato heads for the bathroom giving himself a shower.

10:30 after using up all the hot water, he goes inside Kaite's room and locks the door.

11:00 it's time for a shut eye after pretending to read and ignoring Kaite who was banging the door.Well, sleep tight Legato!

Goodnight... Legato whispered.

* * *

Wow... I actually updated! Weird huh? Anyways yeah theres the chapter... OH samurai champloo's on! Ok later guys. 


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